There aren't enough awards for people who are just a waste of perfectly good oxygen. The Darwin Awards only cover getting yourself killed, and no one has yet seen fit to create some award for celebrities whose rap sheets are longer than their IMDB profiles.
Here is my contribution: The Sheryl Crow Dingleberry of the Week Award.
Why the name? Well, when Ms. Crow suggested that people shouldn't be allowed to use more than one square of toilet paper at a sitting, naming this award after her became appropriate. And since using only one square runs a high risk of leaving behind those things that toilet paper is designed to get rid of, the rest of the name just fell into place (or hung on, depending on how you like your puns).
Yes, Ms. Crow later came out and said it was a joke. Of course, making a joke about your own position isn't very common, and considering that the same post where she put this idea forth also said she had developed a clothing line featuring a "dining sleeve", was that a joke too? How about the reality show for who can live the greenest life? How about this: "We had a great week on our travels through college campuses however the events of the Virginia Tech shootings weighed heavily on everyone's minds and hearts." Really funny. You're a regular Carol Burnett.
No Sheryl. You got caught being stupid. Even Rosie O'Donnell thought you're wearing a tinfoil hat.
But you have now given your name to the Sheryl Crow Dingleberry of the Week Award. Congratulations.
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